Everyone has their thing. I have this thing about thank you notes. Everyone who has ever given me anything has received one. And not only that, they always receive it in a timely manner according to etiquette and it’s always thoughtful. I actually take time to write them and consider who I’m sending it to. That said, I find that I’m asked on a bajillion occasions if I a) have received a gift that I just got or b) sent that person a thank you note.
Just because you haven’t gotten a thank you note doesn’t mean I don’t care. It means that I’m busy taking care of my child. I’m sounding like a jerk and I really don’t mean to. I can’t even begin to express how thoughtful and generous people have been throughout my life and especially with Delaney. But, being hounded for thank you notes makes me feel like I’m only receiving things for my child in order to validate someone’s wishes for being thanked. This is a common new mom dilemma that I know for certain I don’t handle well, so thought I’d share my thoughts.
I am over the moon by the generosity and like I said, feel extremely lucky. But here’s what I’d like to share with you, person who is asking someone to ask me if I got the package, about what I’m doing instead of promptly sending a note.
- Essential life duties. This means if I haven’t gone to the bathroom, taken a shower, brushed my teeth, had a giant mug of coffee or put on something other than what I slept in, I certainly won’t be spending my precious time writing a note.
- Resolving one of my hundreds of insurance claims. Do you realize how many phone calls and minutes on hold I’ve spent in the last year resolving what happens when you change insurances at the very same time you have a baby?
- Exercising. Because I’m nine months into this parenting thing and I’m still fatter than I was when I got pregnant.
- Ordering something on Amazon. That’s right. Because in the city, where you pay a million dollars to park a mile away from your home and you have a baby, getting in the car and bringing in essential items like diapers or toilet paper just can’t be done.
- Pumping. I pump three times a day in order to get a 20 minute break before Delaney goes to bed and let Jordan get alone time with her.
- Cleaning up. Between the diapers, the food on the floor and the 16 outfits Jordan and Delaney wear on any given day, I’m hustling just to make it not seem like a bomb went off in here.
- Prepping for dinner. There’s no such thing as a 30 minute meal when you are home alone with a baby. I get 5 minutes at a time, so when that happens, I do something so that I get to have a normal dinner with a side of conversation with Jordan once Delaney goes to sleep.
- Calling my [insert any immediate or distant family member]. We are long distance from every single person we’re related to and as you may or may not know, that’s sad and hard to deal with sometimes. I work hard to stay in touch and even though I feel like I do a really good job, I still don’t feel up to date with anyone.
- Looking for a job. I’m unemployed and it can’t stay that way. I try to make some sort of effort every day to find some employment…which ends up meaning a lot of emails, chats, and time with very little to show for it.
- Being the best darn Mom I can be. When Delaney is awake, I’m on 100%. She is everything to me and I’ve spent the last nine months embracing her and our family life as much as I can. We go to the park, we dance, we go swimming, we go to music class, we test out every single library that’s in striking distance on the train, we meet Jordan for lunch or coffee, we hang out with our incredible city friends and babies, and we make memories.
I get pretty bent out of shape about things like thank you notes and that’s really my own problem. That said, it makes me feel like I don’t matter and that my role as a Mom is less important than the urgency our world feels. If you’re waiting for a thank you note from me, it’s on its way. And I love every gesture you’ve made toward me, my family and our sweet baby girl. I promise we’re enjoying every ounce of your gift and when I finally get a chance to take a break from making her happy, I P R O M I S E, you’ll get your note.
The past month has brought on some much needed and appreciated consistency in our lives but also a TON OF SNOW. I feel like we’re getting to know Delaney so much better and her personality is just the best. She smiles when we get her from her crib, loves loves loves music, loves other babies, wiggles around on her play mat and is starting to bat at toys, and is pretty consistently sleeping 10 hours a night (waking up once to eat).
Bringing Up Burke 