I’ve been pregnant twice and feel extremely lucky to have had a smooth time getting pregnant and uncomplicated pregnancies. I have also gone wayyyyy past my due date twice. Note that I do not see this as a complication or even a disturbance. It’s just the way my body and my babies work and despite being totally Type A, I have never once become obsessed with a lot of the things people seem to think I should be once I’m past the 40 or 41 week marks.

In this time of waiting and wondering and being pummeled with a slew of endless questions, comments, and observations from others, I couldn’t help but put into words the ridiculous experience that is being 10 days “late.”

1. Pregnancy is 9 months. No it’s not. Maybe for some people, but a traditional pregnancy is 40 weeks, which is ALSO not nine months. You’re basically pregnant for a year so saddle up.
2. Oh, that’s definitely a boy. This is typically said by a strange, middle-aged male who is also the most unassuming person you usually see on the street. But I kid you not, he will be the MOST adamant that he is right just by looking at you for three seconds and at least with my first pregnancy, all of those strange men would also be WRONG.
3. Wow, any day now right? Nope, I’m actually only six or sevent months when I get this comment the most. And news flash, it’s rude so don’t say that to people if you see a pregnant woman.
4. You get to eat for two. No you don’t, but if you do, just be prepared to deal with it for a year or more after the baby. You actually only get an extra small snack but if you’re anything like me, you stop caring around 38 weeks and throw caution to the wind. Live it up because you’ll get back in shape and being skinny isn’t nearly as awesome as being strong, happy and a mom.
5. “Morning sickness” ends after your first trimester. This stuff knows no bounds and there’s no saying that morning sickness is just nausea or that morning sickness is just in the morning. I threw up all the time, including in the middle of the night every week until 18 weeks…and all day long. A lot of people get a little nauseous, and a lot of people hurl. You’ll be fine regardless, but may help to be mentally prepared.
6. You can’t do normal things. This is definitely true for some people depending on their physical health, the baby’s health and otherwise so this could be true for you. If your pregnancy is progressing normally, you can pretty much do everything you did before. I ran races, did barre classes, rode bikes and chased after Delaney until my current state (10 days late) — and I’m STILL pregnant so all is well!
7. If you carry “big”, you’ll probably have an early baby. This is an uneducated assessment from strangers again usually, but it’s not true. I’m proof.
8. Are they Braxton Hicks or real contractions? Hahahahaha…. if this was so easy to tell, I would have been vacationing in Bermuda for the past month. I’ve quite literally thought I was in labor every few days for more than five weeks now. And I have a high pain tolerance. And I’m still pregnant. And I’ll most definitely need to be induced.