Motherhood is an adventure and as someone who is already somewhat sensitive to criticism (ok, a lot sensitive sometimes), the judgment of others has been a wild ride already. Because people are judging, always.

I judge other moms all the time. That’s not to say that I think what they’re doing is wrong, but I definitely see things that other moms do and think, “Oh man, I would never do that” or “Why are they doing that if it’s making their life so much harder?” or even, “I bet he or she would stop crying if…” But you know what? That’s not fair.

I don’t know what their morning was like. I don’t know if she’s been struggling with postpartum depression so furiously that she just can’t get out of bed. I don’t know what will happen if that baby doesn’t go to sleep precisely at 1:15 in her crib. I don’t know how hard she tried to finally show up on time just to find her son had pooped all over the stroller. I don’t know how many tears that mom has shed over the fact that her baby won’t take a bottle for a babysitter. I don’t know how many times she has tried to get the baby to eat solids to no avail. I just don’t know.

And here’s the thing, I’m probably wrong in my judgements a lot of the time. I could also be totally right a lot of the time. But in the end, who cares? Why do I care what someone else is doing, why do other people care what I’m doing, and why, oh why, do I let other people’s judgement bother me? I really don’t know.

I feel like I’ve been in a constant hustle to prove that we are good. To prove that I’m totally crushing this parenting thing. To prove that we can be everywhere and do everything. It’s really no different than I am in my work and in my personal life. I want people to think I’m easy. I want people to think I’m flexible. I want people to think I’ve got this. But above all else, I just want people to say good job.

I’ve felt so much anxiety about so many little things because of this. One day, someone asked me if I was excited about a trip with friends. My knee jerk response was, “Yeah, I’m so excited, just nervous.”

“Why?”, she asked.

“Well, I just don’t know how Delaney’s gonna sleep and if she’s gonna freak out. Ugh, I don’t know, I just don’t want to be judged if I have to take her home early from dinner,” I said, immediately stressed.

“Well, who cares? They’re going to judge you anyway.”

**The clouds parted and I felt more free than ever in my life**

She was so right. No matter how much I stress, no matter how perfect Delaney behaves, no matter what happens, people are going to judge no matter what. So why even worry? Why not just take it in stride and enjoy my life?

If Delaney cries and I have to leave in a tizzy, so what? If Delaney’s a dream and it’s still a lot of work for me to keep her that way, so what about that too? People will find something to judge, but my reaction is the only thing I can control.

I don’t have to get defensive. My priority is my baby and more importantly, I want my priority to be not just her happiness but my own. If it makes me happier to leave before a meltdown, I should just do it. If it makes me happier to push her limits, skip nap time, and enjoy the company of my friends before she has an absolute meltdown? I should do that too. Because maybe she won’t!

There are so many things to worry about as a Mom and I’m really hoping other people judging my actions stops being one of them. It’s a waste of my energy.